Reasoning With a Dragon

Guess what I got for Christmas.  A dragon!  I like it a lot because it helps me get my work done faster.  Who would have thought?  I do have one complaint, though.  At odd times, my new dragon tends to blurt out the weirdest things.  Yesterday, for instance, he wrote, “Beavers built Claude’s church.”

Say what?  I congratulate those industrious critters for taking on such a project, but who is Claude?  And what does this have to do with the new edition of my book, The Cancer Survival Guide: Practical Help, Spirtual Hope, that I am so busily updating?

I’m a patient person.  I gave my dragon another chance. It wrote: “The land was ravaged by her hairy slugs.”

Come on, Dragon. That’s going too far!

Perhaps I should explain. My new dragon is a speech recognition program called Dragon Naturally Speaking.  I put on a headset and speak into the microphone, and the dragon turns my dictation into typed text.  Since I have been contracted for an updated version of The Cancer Survial Guide (it is now ten years old), I jumped at the chance to read the text in rather than retype the entire book.  The program really does work well.  Most of the time.  Until the dragon belches out an unintelligible sentence such as: “Israelites laundered in the wilderness forty years.”

I have decided that my dragon simply doesn’t want me to take him for granted.  If I stay attentive and regularly take time to read over what he writes, I can easily mend his goofs.  Those church-building beavers?  What I said was, “The believers…”  And Claude?  I said “God.”   The land ravaged by hairy slugs?  Should have read,  “The land ravaged by horrendous floods.” And those laundering Israelites?  Easy mistake.  I said they “wandered in the wilderness forty years.”  (I’m sure their clothes were filthy, however, so the laundering wouldn’t have been such a bad idea!)

After two weeks together, my dragon and I have come to an understanding.  I will speak more carefully and correct him gently, and he will continue to learn from his mistakes. 

As Dragon wrote, “Give Claude flea control.”  (I said, God is in complete control.)

It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.”
J.R. R. Tolkien 
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9 Comments

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9 responses to “Reasoning With a Dragon

  1. Jean

    Thanks for the wonderful chuckle–I really needed it today (and yesterday and probably tomorrow)–I’ll be referring to this post often, I predict.
    Love and joyous new year, Jean

  2. Jeanette

    How funny! One of the counselors at Services to the Blind and Visually Impaired encouraged me to start using the “Narerator” Function on my computer, which reads the text on the screen and would cut back on the time I spend leaning into the screen. I immediately remembered the time when my friend Michael Hingson, who is totally blind, demonstated an iPhone app that reads text and it read everything phonetically, including pronouncing the “j” in jalapenos.

    Learning to use “Narerator” is on my list for this year. If nothing else, the funky monotone pronunciations might be entertaining.

  3. LOL… We can’t believe what we read or hear, and with Photoshop, we can’t believe what we see, either. Welcome 2012.

  4. Irene

    Your post made me laugh, and that is what I desperately needed today. I will need to get a copy of your book. My younger sister has been diagnosed with a very rare endometrial cancer ( three types of cancer cells ) and has not been given much hope beyond a few months:C “Claude” is good though: He has opened her heart and she has received Christ!

  5. This post is sure to sat his fly any one with a cent of bloomer..or is that satisfy anyone with a sense of humor? Thanks Kay!

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