King of Cubicles No-Win

When the no-progress King of Cubicles Position contest was announced, I thought I was a shoo-in.  Even though I work at home, I spend the majority of my time sitting at my desk, and,  more often than I care to admit, frittering away time.  Okay, so I fudged a bit on the my resume.  Doesn’t everyone?  But justice was served–I didn’t win.  Still, as a follow-up to our discussion on so-called Writer’s Block, I thought I’d post my tongue-in-cheek entry.

Resume

King of Cubicles Position

Present Position:                    Freelance writer

Unique Qualifications:           My present position presents unique opportunities for me to hone my King of Cubicles-type skills.  Since writing is my full-time job, I spend most days working on whatever fits the description of “current project.”   My day progresses somewhat along the following schedule:

  1. Straighten various piles on my desk
  2. File my nails
  3. Wipe down computer screen
  4. Catch the cat and clip her nails
  5. Write an opening sentence about, say, tropical beaches
  6. Look up a recipe for pina coladas on the internet
  7. Look up pina colada on Wikipedia
  8. Search eBay for a good deal on Hawaiian shirts
  9. Open Facebook to let my friends know I’m hard at work on my novel
  10. Reread my opening sentence
  11. Delete it
  12. Contemplate other opening sentences I have read
  13. Check Amazon.com to see which books are in the top ten
  14. Read their opening sentences on-line
  15. Compare the Amazon price for the top books with the eBay price
  16. Stop for a mid-morning cup of tea
  17. Write an entire opening paragraph
  18. Spy my old Rubik’s Cube and try it for the upillionth time
  19. Read over what I have written and repunctuate it
  20. Reassure myself that no immediate success doesn’t mean no hope

What I can bring to the job of Cubicle King:        Fresh ways of actively doing nothing, and the ability to write about it.

 

“Never confuse motion with action.”

Benjamin Franklin

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “King of Cubicles No-Win

  1. LOL! Boy, can I relate–except I don’t have a cat. Otherwise we could pretty much be author-twins!

  2. Ahhh, the writing life! Eh, Kathi?

  3. Irene

    You’re too cute. LOL

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